Naljanurk siis

Tõestisündinud lugu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pY1_Hrhwa...re=related

Lugesin just raamatut ,,Inimesed,kes muutsid maailma,, ...
Jeesusn Kristus.Sündis ligikaudu 6 eKr,suri 33 pKr.
Okaspea oli ikka tõesti imetegija-sündis umbes 6 aastat enne iseennast.

Ja kuhu veel ilmuda annaks
http://www.mysteriousman.net/andres/visu...0jesus.jpg

Tsitaat:Algselt postitas NelliN2
Lugesin just raamatut ,,Inimesed,kes muutsid maailma,, ...
Jeesusn Kristus.Sündis ligikaudu 6 eKr,suri 33 pKr.
Okaspea oli ikka tõesti imetegija-sündis umbes 6 aastat enne iseennast.

Ja kuhu veel ilmuda annaks
http://www.mysteriousman.net/andres/visu...0jesus.jpg

Siinkohal ei ole süüdi mitte Jeesuse imetegu, vaid kunagiste ajaloolaste möödapanek tema sünniaasta arvestamisel. Hiljem saadi aru, et Jeesus sündis varem, kuna teatud faktid ei klappinud kokku.(näit. Herodese valitsemisaeg) Kuid kuna rahva seas oli niivõrd kinnistunud endine sünniaasta, siis on see laialt kasutusena siiani ja sellega märgitakse ka meie ajaarvamise algust.

Nelli - ajalugu tuleb teada siis ei ole liiga naljakas see elu.

Tsitaat:Algselt postitas excubitoris
Nelli - ajalugu tuleb teada siis ei ole liiga naljakas see elu.

Pole mõtet kahelda mu ajalooteadmistes,lihtsalt seal raamatus riivas selline hauakirja moodi teemapealkiri liialt silma.

Täitsa naljanurga vääriline: http://www.postimees.ee/?id=299263

Millel põhineb huumor?

http://www.postimees.ee/?id=299045

Lustakas isamaaline lugu Jüri Böhmilt:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPid2zB8SYM

Olid seal piirivalvekoerad. Vaatasime, ajasime juttu ja tuleb välja, et nad on täitsa tavalised koerad.
Teil on siin nii palju pabereid, et need mulle küll pähe ei mahu.
Kolmas rühm jäi lõunatoidul munadest ilma.
Ma tunnen ohutustehnikat nagu oma kolme sõrme.
Tualetis tuleb sihtida täpselt ja tsentrisse.
...Käskluse peale"Valvel!" tuleb pea enda ees hoida. (Kuidas seda käsku täidetakse?)
Kõik kaevikusse, ülejäänud minu järele!
Jalgadevahe pikkus on üks samm.
Olge tasa, muidu jahtub tee ära.
Härrased, on aeg haarata hobusel sarvist.
http://www.hot.ee/ziggy/kvlex1.html

Buduaari foorumis kirjutati:
"Ja teine juhus oli enda lapse lasteaia jõulupeol ,kus siis lapsed laulsid ja mõned ka soolo osa ja üks poiss uhkelt kõva häälega laulab üle saali "Need on väiksed pätavitud...." (päkapikud)".



Poeg oli vast 5ne kui mõned sünnipäevalised kingiks raha andsid.Panime selle panka. Mõne aja pärast tahtis poiss teada, et kus tema raha on. Ütlesin, et pangas. Selle peale hakkas poiss nutma:"Kas ma olen nüüd siis mõni pankrott või?"

Seisame 3a pojaga putka juures ja mehed ostavad õlut Saku Ice (kõlab "Ais"). Poiss tuleb minu juurde nägu imestunud peas ja teatab:"Ema, onu küsis saku haisu!"

"Sa oled paha mees!"ütleb issile
Issi:"Misasja????"
Poja:"Sa käid dushshi all paljaid naisi vahtimas!"
Issi käis vannitoas käsi pesemas kui emme dushi all oli.

Ütlesin 5a. tütrele-ära võtagi asju üles,vaata kui ilus nii on.
-Emme,miks sa valesti mõtlema oled hakanud?

Telefon helises, 2.5 a. tütar jooksis suure kisaga: "appi, appi, keegi ilastab".

http://naistekas.delfi.ee/foorum/read.ph...401&t=5401

Tsitaate ühelt parimalt stand-up koomikult George Carlinilt:
http://www.blogzarro.com/2007/05/100-gre...in-quotes/


“When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?” This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!

I wanna live. I don’t wanna die. That’s the whole meaning of life: Not dying! I figured that shit out by myself in the third grade.

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
... jne

Kuna siin leidub palju kasutajaid, kes kõnelevad inglise keelt, lisan jutu originaali:
In the men's bathroom, an accountant, a lawyer and a cowboy were standing side-by-side using the urinal.
The accountant finished, zipped up and started washing and literally scrubbing his hands...clear up to his elbows....he used 20 paper towels before he finished. He turned to the other two men and commented, "I graduated from the University of Michigan and they taught us to be clean."
The lawyer finished, zipped up and quickly wet the tips of his fingers, grabbed one paper towel and commented, "I graduated from the University of California and they taught us to be environmentally conscious."
The cowboy zipped up and as he was walking out the door said, "I graduated from Texas Tech University and they taught us not to piss on our hands.





Ja veel yks "test", mis mulle kõrvuni naeratuse suule venitas:

http://www.hiddenmysteries.org/comedy/al...ality.html

[Muudetud: 4-9-2010 AnnaNuustik]

Yks vähe vyrtsisem ja chilisem lugu.

Notes From An Inexperienced Chili Tester Named FRANK, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon, when the call came.

I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting. So I accepted."

Here are the scorecards from the event:

CHILI # 1 MIKE'S MANIAC MOBSTER MONSTER CHILI

JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.

JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

FRANK: Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

CHILI # 2 ARTHUR'S AFTERBURNER CHILI

JUDGE ONE: Smokey, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.

JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

FRANK: Keep this out of the reach of children I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

CHILI # 3 FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI

JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.

JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.

FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all the beer.

CHILI # 4 BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC

JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.

FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it, is it possible to burnout taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb. ... is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear waste I'm eating. Is chili an aphrodisiac?

CHILI # 5 LINDA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER

JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very Impressive.

JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

FRANK: My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage, Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off? It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks!

CHILI # 6 VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY

JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers. JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.

FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I shit myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally. She must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone!

CHILI # 7 SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI

JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried about Judge Number 3, He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.

FRANK: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like shit to match my damn shirt. At least during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing; it's too painful. Screw it. I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

CHILI # 8 LESTER'S LAST OF THE RED-HOT LOVER'S CHILI

JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare it's existence.

JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yank, wonder how he'd have reacted to a really hot chili?

Jah, tahaks isegi teada...

Что происходит внутри корабля во время шторма. Жесть. (видео - Fishki.Net | Фишкина Картинка
REAALSUS - mis toimub laeval tormi ajal - turvakaamera video.

Разница между рекламными фотографиями гостиниц и реальными (34 фото - Fishki.Net | Фишкина Картинка
REKLAAM ja REAALSUS - millised on hotellid reklaamidel ja millised kohale minnes.

25 старых реклам, которые бы сегодня запретили (29 фото - Fishki.Net | Фишкина Картинка
REKLAAM - nii 50 aastat tagasi - nii mõnegi puhul saaks nii mõnedki poliitkorrektsuse krambid.

"Miks sinu Emme ei pese sind seebiga??"

Rooma Paavst, iisraeli pearabbi ja Dalai sõidavad parvega järvel. Kõht juba tühi ja märkavad kaldal kohvikut.
"Sööma!" hõikab rabbi ja jookseb mööda vett kaldale.
"Võib ju ka." märgib Dalai Laama ja jalutab rahulikult kaldale.
"Jeesuse nimel" teatab Paavst, astub vette ning vajub põhja.
"Oleks pidanud talle ka uppunud kaist rääkima" ütleb rabbi.
"Millisest kaist?" küsib Dalai-Laama.

************************************************

Hotellis on tulekahju. Katusele jõuavad Filosoof, Füüsik ja Matemaatik.
Ainuke pääsetee on siseõuel olev bassein.
"Olen fatalist ja saatus määrab minu teekonna" - teatab Filosoof ja prantsatab basseinist 10m kaugusele.
Füüsik haarab vaikides pliiatsi - joonistab, arvutab ja lendab täpselt basseini keskele.
Matemaatik haarab pliiatsi ja paberi - arvutab natuke ja lendab ülesse. Vaatab lehte ja sõnub:
"Kurat siin pidi ju pluss olema mitte miinus".

************************************************

Kuumalaine Tallinnas. Mees tuleb tööle aluspükstes ja lipsuga.
"Sa pannud veel kasukas selga!" irvitavad kolleegid irooniliselt.

http://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases...isters.htm
Mõned ikka naljakad

lihtsalt fannid pildid
http://fundoomails.com/amazing-fun-pictu...lection-2/

Sõjaväljal saavad relvadeks geipomm ja paha hais
http://www.ohtuleht.ee/index.aspx?id=393926

Paavsti astronoom on valmis tulnukaid ristiusku pöörama!

Aga ainult siis kui tulnukas selleks soovi avaldab!

U2 on kontserdil Iirimaal ja kontserdi kaskel palub Bono , et rahvas oleks tasa ja ise hakkab vaikselt kàsi kokku lööma . Saalis on tàielik vaikus , Bono samas teatab mikrofoni , et iga kord , kui ta kàsi kokku lööb sureb aafrikas laps !
Esimeses reast on kuulda mehe hààlt , kes talle vastab valjul hààlel , " Sa lõpeta siis see plaksutamine , krdi idioot " !

Darth Vader recording for TomTom GPS - behind the scenes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ljFfL-mL70

Yoda oma samuti olemas
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FdcJVuylmsM

PS: Neid tekste saab päriselt kah enda TomTom-i tõmmata nende endi lehelt.
http://starwars.tomtom.com/voices/index-...darthvader

[Muudetud: 10-1-2010 Nazz]

Tsitaat:Algselt postitas Nazz

PS: Neid tekste saab päriselt kah enda TomTom-i tõmmata nende endi lehelt.
http://starwars.tomtom.com/voices/index-...darthvader

Nazz]

Päris tore oleks kui DumDum hr Tumeda Vaderi häälega hakkaks poole seletamise pealt mingit tumeda poole juttu ajama autos ning Yoda räägiks pidevalt sõnu vales järjekorras ....

naljakad fotod loomadest...
jm huvitavat

Vabandage, aga ei osanud kusagile mujale paigutada.

http://smilepanic.com/funny-animals-7#67
http://smilepanic.com/amazing-handfish

Tsitaat:Algselt postitas Preilikass
http://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases...isters.htm
Mõned ikka naljakad

Meil ju kah midagi sarnast olemas. Kas keegi mäletab või suudab taastada? Teiste tähtedega lugusid oli kah, aga see oli eriti pikk:

Pisike poeg palus papat: "Papa, palun pane pruunile puust paadile punased purjed peale"
Papa paitas pojakesel pead: "Papa paneb pisipojakese pisikesele pruunile puust paadile peale pirakad purpurpunased purjed..

[Muudetud: 2-10-2010 nokitseja]