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Naljanurk - Printerisõbralik versioon +- Para-web (https://www.para-web.org) +-- Foorum: Muu (/forumdisplay.php?fid=6) +--- Foorum: Üldteemad (/forumdisplay.php?fid=18) +--- Teema: Naljanurk (/showthread.php?tid=9691) 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 |
- Tom - 13-02-2010 11:48 Tõlge, kuigi sõna-sõnalt tõlkida on raske: Allteksts:"Floyd jäi pühendunud skeptikuks isegi mõruda lõpuni." Floydi mõtted:"Ma ei usu, et see minuga juhtub!" - InDemand - 18-02-2010 21:08 Angelina Jolie on reptiloid?
- villu - 26-02-2010 09:30 Erinevate maade amatsoonid nagu kaheksa tilka vett. Ekspressi veebitoimetusele saadeti pildid, mis kujutavad erinevate maade naissõdalasi. Heida pilk peale! http://www.ekspress.ee/news/paevauudised/kranaat/erinevate-maade-amatsoonid-nagu-kaheksa-tilka-vett.d?id=28689571 - Jõhvikas - 04-03-2010 13:21 Nuputamist. Kolm sõpra lähevad hotelli ja maksavad toa eest 30 dollarit. Õhtul avastab hotelli juht, et tegelikult oleksid külalised pidanud sele toa eest maksma 25 dollarit. Ta kutsub jooksupoisi, annab talle 5 dollarit ja käsib selle meestele viia. Tee peal mõtleb jooksupoiss, et 5 dollarit on väga raske kolme vahel jagada ja paneb 2 dollarit enda tasku, ning annab kõigile tagsi 1 dollari. Kolm sõpra maksid igaüks nüüd 10-1=9 dollarit ehk kolme peale kokku 27 dollarit. Jooksupoisi taskusse jäi 2 dollarit. 27+2=29 dollarit. Kuhu kadus 1 dollar? - zepac - 04-03-2010 13:33 Hotellijuhi taskusse? - Jõhvikas - 04-03-2010 14:25 Jagage 25/3-ga. Sinna see raha kaob... - Jõhvikas - 05-03-2010 10:13 Ma tulen taevast ülevalt Puid, kartuleid toon teile sealt K-kohukesi magusaid ja lubadusi ladusaid. "Kop-kopp!" su uksele ma teen, sa küsid:" Kes ?" NO KES SIIS VEEL! - Taksonoomik - 05-03-2010 22:02 Vahelehõige: Mündid kadusid puululiku loogikasse ja numbrilisse visuaalsusesse. Mehed maksid 10 (30$) ja said 1 teeb 33 + 2 on 35 siit 5 maha ja kõik klapib. .
- WhiteWolf - 06-03-2010 01:13 Väike poiss läheb isa juurde ja pärib: "Issi, issi, mis asi on poliitika?" Isa mõtleb natuke ja ütleb: "No ma proovin seletada. Mina olen peres leivateenija - kutsugem mind Kapitalismiks. Ema hoolitseb raha-asjade eest, tema on Valitsus. Kuna meie töötame sinu heaks, oled sina rahvas. Lapsehoidja on Töölisklass ja sinu väikevend on Tulevik! Mõtle nüüd selle üle natuke järele." Lähebki poiss voodisse ja hakkab järele mõtlema. Öösel hakkab aga väikevend nutma ja poiss tõuseb üles. Ta läheb uurima, ja näeb, et väikevend on mähkmed täis lasknud! Suundub siis isa-ema tuppa, et neid äratada - ema magab sügavalt ja poiss ei tihka teda äratada. Isa on hoopis kadunud. Jääb veel üle lapsehoidja - tolle uks on aga lukus. Piilub poiss lukuaugust ja näeb isa lapsehoidjat kargamas. Lõpuks annab ta alla ja läheb magama tagasi. Hommikul ütleb ta isale: "Issi, ma arvan et tean nüüd, mis poliitika on." "No räägi, räägi," julgustab isa poissi. Poiss: "Sel ajal kui Kapitalism Töölisklassile taha keerab, Valitsus magab, Rahvast eiratakse ja Tulevik on suure sita sees! - MHL - 08-03-2010 11:04 Tsitaat:Algselt postitas Taksonoomik Ma arvutasin ka teistmoodi ja kõik klappis kenasti. Vähemalt alguses tundus loogiline, et kui mehed said kõik 30 makstud dollarist kamba peale 3 tagasi, aga pidid maksma 25, siis järelikult nad maksid toa eest kamba peale 25 + 3 dollarit. See on kokku 28 + 2 dollarit toapoisile ja kõik on kenasti jonksus. - Nielander - 08-03-2010 12:10 Sa tead, et oled eestlane, kui... 1. You use the word ‘normal’ if something is ok. 2. When visiting friends abroad you bring along a box of Kalev chocolate. 3. You attended a song festival at least once either as a performer or as a spectator. 4. You know that going to the sauna is 80% about networking and 20% about washing 5. You are nationalistic about Skype (it is actually an Estonian company) 6. ‘Kohuke’ belongs to your menu 7. You declare your taxes on the internet like all modern people 8. You actually believed for a while that Latvians had 6 toes per foot when you heard that as a child 9. You are convinced that Estonia is very strategically located 10. You spent at least one midsummer in Saaremaa, Hiiumaa or one of the smaller islands 11. You can quote films like "Viimne reliikvia" and "Siin me oleme" 12. You spit three times around your left shoulder for good luck 13. Words like "veoauto", "täieõiguslik" or "jää-äär" sound perfectly pronouncable to you 14. You like bold statements, such as this one... ;-) 15. There can never be too much sarcasm 16. You can at times drink hot tea to hot food 17. You are disappointed that Jaan Kross never got the Nobel prize in literature 18. It would not be suprising for English-speakers to find your name naughty (Peep, Tiit, Andres [sounds like undress]) or hippy (Rein, Rain) 19. You have been to Finland 20. You say 'Noh' (sounds like NO) even when you speak English, just to confuse people 21. You know the lyrics to "Mutionu" and "Rongisõit" 22. You would never mistaken Kreisiraadio for a radio station 23. You would agree that wife-carrying is a real sport (at least as long as Estonians are winning) 24. Your best friend's girlfriend is your English teacher's daughter and they live next door to your grandparents, who were colleagues with your advisor, who is friends with your... 25. You think that any beverage below 20% is non-alcoholic 26. You check the thermometer before going out 27. You look in both directions before crossing the road, even if it's a one-way street 28. You grin very mysteriously when people ask about your national food 29. Even if you find the music by Veljo Tormis and Arvo Pärt not exactly easy-listening, you think they are great messengers for the country 30. You put ketchup inside your pasta (french-cooked gourmet faire la fine manger pasta) in order to not to get the ketchup-bowl dirty 31. You cheated on your wife/husband at least ten times but you still think you're in a good marriage. 32. When someone asks you "where is Estonia?" you quickly reply that it's located in Northern Europe close to Finland... 33. Your grandmother's "purse" is an old plastic bag that has been reused several times 34. Sour cream tastes good with everything 35. A foreigner speaks to you in broken horrible Estonian and you go on and on about how wonderful their Estonian is compared to "the Russians'" 36. You have ever worn or seen anyone wear "karupüksid" 37. You have heard the phrase "Estonians are slow" at least once 38. Kui sa saad aru, mis siia kirjutatud on 39. You find yourself continually ignoring the gender in other languages 40. You say 'kurat' as at least every second word 41. You consider running to the shop at 19.50 on Friday evening to buy some booze, a sport 42. You are a true Estonian when you come from Tallinn, because if you are from Tallinn you think Tallinn IS Estonia and that’s true of course that Tallinn is Estonia 43. When someone says "Estonians are so beautiful" you answer almost without emotions "I know" 44. You have tried to explain people that "kauboi" is actually a word in Estonian 45. You don't think that terviSEKS is a funny word 46. You don't find the Estonian equivalent to the expressions "twelve months", "1002" and "12 buses" remotely funny or rude 47. Even though you never met Toots, Teele and Kiir you know exact what they are like 48. You grin when someone you know says that they bought a BMW 49. You know how to end the sentence "Kui Arno isaga koolimajja jõudis..." 50. Verivorst tastes great (at least once a year at Christmas time) 51. You want truth and justice (tõde ja õigus) to rule the world 52. You think that the combination blue-black-white is cheerful 53. You know that love for 3 oranges is not a weird sex thing and the phrase "x 6 me" makes absolutely sense 54. For you it is totally normal to eat food gone sour (hapupiim, hapukurk, hapukapsas, hapukoor) 55. A language should have at least 14 cases 56. You know the moves to the song "Põdra maja" 57. You consider “Õllepruulija” an unofficial national anthem 58. Everyone in your family has pictures from funerals 59. You are so proud of every Estonian that you correct foreigners who say that the population is 1 million, not 1.3 million as it actually is 60. You know the moves to 'kaerajaan' 61. "Ühesõnaga" means that a really long explanation is coming 62. A mention of a town with a population of a million or more causes you to panic slightly 63. The phrase "go south, get some sun" can feasibly mean Latvia or Lithuania. The phrase "go north" is semantically null 64. It's been years since you've seen your paper passport and paper bus pass 65. And weeks since you've seen cash money. 66. And you barely remember that there are other forms of payment except electronic ones. 67. When you come to a city that has a subway, you are prepared to spend a day just riding it. 68. You presume that all other countries also have ubiquitous Internet access. 69. Four-digit bus route numbers cause your brain to shut down. 70. You feel that the University of Tartu is among the top 5 best/largest/oldest universities in the world, and if you've graduated from it, all paths in life are open for you. 71. Swimming in +18C water is a perfectly normal summer activity for you. 72. Although when summer does come around, you tend to be working that day. 73. You will die before finding out if anyone actually does buy all those black&white hand-knit sweaters in the Old Town. 74. You can name from memory all the really big musical acts that have performed in Estonia. 75. Walking down Viru street, you can accurately name all the cruise ships in Tallinn harbour on that day. 76. You know the names of all three black people living in Estonia. 77. You remember the 1-kroon bill and the 5-sent coin. 78. A person that speaks three languages isn't the slightest bit impressive. 79. Your biological clock senses with perfect accuracy the 15 minutes since you've parked your car in the center of town. 80. You have already been to Olde Hansa. 81. You know what the EURIBOR rate is right now. 82. If it takes more than 10 minutes to drive somewhere within the city, you are mildly annoyed because it is too far. 83. You are beginning to have a glimmer of hope for ever learning how to correctly pronounce Jüriöö Ülestõus. 84. Your doctor prescribes a visit to a tanning salon. 85. You take it as inevitable that you will need to go abroad for some things: clothes, footwear, books, theme parks... 86. First-graders with mobile phones no longer surprise you. 87. People who type slowly and carefully using only their index fingers are subconsciously considered to be foreigners. 88. The most difficult subjects you learned at school were Estonian history, Estonian geography and Estonian literature. And Russian. 89. You can speak with pride of Estonia's tallest mountain. 90. Buildings taller than 20 floors are sightseeing items where you bring visitors. 91. You are beginning to find Eino Baskin's jokes funny. 92. On June 23rd, you feel the irresistible urge to drink beer and eat barbeque meat. 93. When you hear "Kristina", you think of Shmigun, not Aguilera. 94. Every year you believe, deep in your heart, that Estonia will once again win the Eurovision Song Contest. 95. Potato to you is the same as rice to a Japanese. 96. You consider summer to consist of three weeks of bad skiing weather. 97. You can't imagine your life without "Kalev" and "Vana Tallinn", especially while having a deep look at the Tall Hermann and Oleviste sitting in the cafe inside the Old Town...98. You're proud that Ernst Hemingway wrote that you can find at least one Estonian in every harbour in the world. 99. Ten months of the year it is too dark to be up and two months it is too light to go to bed. 100. You believe that Kalev will return because Kreutzwald wrote so. 101. You find nothing special about singing a super-state to collapse. 102. You look down on people who ask if Estonia along with the rest of Eastern Europe is civilized by now / if Estonia belongs to the EU. 103. You know what or where "Valli baar" is but you would not try "Millimallikas" they serve twice, unless someone else pays for it. 104. You wait for a green light at a pedestrian crossing even when there is no traffic to be seen. 105. You are obsessed with your mobile phone's ringtones and you can't wait to get a new mobile. 106. You have an account on rate.ee or used to have one until you realised there is also myspace, facebook and orkut which are way better. 107. a Southern European friend of yours is excited that it's miraculously snowing in their country and they tell you about it with enthusiasm but it doesn't move you at all.. at least not emotionally. 108. You know what "spikerdama" means and have good memories of it. 109. You don't understand the physics or chemistry your textbooks and teachers try to teach you because it's too complicated. 110. You are too lazy to walk.. so instead you take the tram, the bus or the trolley-bus and if you do that without a ticket you know why people call you a bunny. 111. You know what a "läbu" is. 112. You know that the word "aita" and "Tarapiita" possibly comes from the word "Taara, avita" and you know who Taara is. 113. You are crazy about tanning at Pärnu Beach. 114. You eat too many dairy products. 115. You have lived in flats more than houses. 116. You are proud that an Estonian day still continues even with metres of fat snow covering the streets because other countries like the US would call it a "snowday" which basically means they have no work or school. 117. You also know that if there is going to be another Ice Age the Estonian people will more likely survive better than the South or Western Europeans 118. And you like the global warming but you can't imagine a Christmas without snow. 119. You'd love to get your 12th grade exam results texted to you. 120. You have joined the "pohhuist" club or know people who are members of it. 121. You have porridge for breakfast. 122. You have had borsch or selyanka soup in your school. 123. You eat everything with sidrunipipar. 124. You notice summer has come because "Reporter" changes name to "Suvereporter" 125. You consider saying "Thank you" for someone's light for a cigarette rude. 126. You consider constantly smiling and friendly people high on drugs or just annoying. 127. You have a puzzled relationship to your Baltic neighours: you might feel great blood kinship but then again you want to look better than they and take offense if someone thinks you're from Latvia or Lithuania. 128. You don't even expect a victory from the Estonian football team, but you still follow the game with great emotions. 129. You aren't surprised over news like "someone (age 18-25) rolled over with a BMW", "someone (age 18-25) was speeding (speed +30-... over the limit) with a BMW" anymore. 130. You can relate to the lyrics of "Depressiivsed Eesti väikelinnad". 131. You eat pea soup and a bun with whipped cream on Vastlapäev every year. 132. You prefer Pirita and Pärnu beach to Miami and Hollywood club (Tallinn) to Pacha (Ibiza). 133. You feel butterflies in your belly when you hear Tõnis Mägi's song "Koit". 134. You know that between two legs there is Rataskaevu street. 135. If Finnish guy goes to "tyräleikkaus" you think that they are going to cut his ... off. 136. You consider Chalice's "Minu inimesed" almost the new national anthem... if you don't, you've been outside Estonia for too long... 137. You watch "Nukitsamees" with English subtitles and foreigners STILL don't get why Estonians love that movie so much. 138. You suddenly feel hungry when you hear the following words: hapukapsas, musta leib, Kalevi valge mustikashokolaad, mulgipuder, kohupiimatort, jäätisekokteil, juustugrillvorst etc. See the discussion on Estonian food for more yummy stuff... 139. You have at least once had to explain people when being abroad that No, Estonia is not as cold as Siberia and No, ice hockey is not the most popular sport in Estonia, cause we actually do not have ice all year around. 140. You wear small reflecting accessoires on your clothes during winter. 141. You say to a foreigner "Sure! I'll help you learn the Estonian language!", and then you disappear... - alter - 08-03-2010 14:54 38. on mingi jama: 38. Kui sa saad aru, mis siia kirjutatud on Mõned on päris head: Tsitaat:40. You say 'kurat' as at least every second word - MHL - 08-03-2010 15:15 Mhh..selles mõttes ei ole ju jama, et iga keskmine eestlane saab ju ingliskeelest (ja ka paljudest teistest keeltest) aru
- Thorondor - 08-03-2010 15:16 Enamus neist ei vasta tõele, või ma pole tolle koostaja arvates lihtsalt eestlane. Aga nali naljaks. [Muudetud: 8-3-10 Thorondor] - Metafor - 08-03-2010 15:27 Tsitaat:Algselt postitas alterPikk ta oli aga no olid tõesti mõned nopped mille üle muigama sai ![]() Muidu suht täppesse, oli see uus kodakondsus test? - MHL - 08-03-2010 15:39 Tsitaat:Algselt postitas alter Aa...selles mõttes ka muidugi, et kui oled näiteks inglane ja loed seda teksti, siis sa ju ei saa aru sellest punktist 38, mis tähendab, et ei oska eestikeelt, mis tähendab, et sa ei ole üks õige eestlane. Et nagu kahte pidi saab aru saada sellest. Noja veel selles mõttes, et ei saa nende teiste punktide sisust aru. Tegelikult vist ei ole võimalik ühest asjast nii mitut moodi aru saada...ahh, mina ka ei tea
- Tom - 08-03-2010 15:44 ![]() Ehk ärge käituge liiga tormakalt, kui tulnukad saabuvad! - Jõhvikas - 08-03-2010 19:19 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-oMdJJN1XVo - Jõhvikas - 09-03-2010 22:37 Heidi Purga paneb hästi http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOiGhzT6tJ4&feature=related
- Nazz - 10-03-2010 16:32
- T11ger - 15-03-2010 22:41 http://www.aegmaha.com/video/10702/10-asja-mida-jumalateenistuse-ajal-mitte-teha#title - Jõhvikas - 16-03-2010 21:29 Sonylt uus ja põnev toode! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AyVh1_vWYQ - Nielander - 16-03-2010 21:57 IPhone erinevad kasutusvõimalused: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgt2dJU2TNk - RexLegend - 19-03-2010 14:06 http://www.metacafe.com/watch/786303/bathroom_break/ Selle töö juures üks plusse
- Tom - 28-03-2010 20:30 Ilmus üks humoorikas raamat infotelefonile helistajate muredest: http://www.raamatukoi.ee/cgi-bin/raamat?171746 Sealt pärit: Tsitaat:Hirm Tsitaat:UFO Noh, naljakas küll kuid "tädi Maalile maalt" võivad üsna tõsise loomuga para-asjad tõesti panna telefoni haarama ja infosse helistama. Nuta või naera.
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