Jokes about Estonia and Estonians
Able to see You own actions in the funny way are mark of healty person.
Estonia is full of healty persons so we all can laugh and be healty.
An elderly Estonian man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite Estonian perogies (pirukad) with fried onions wafting up the stairs.
He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed.
Gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.
Downstairs, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen,
where if not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already
in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table
were hundreds of his favorite perogies.
Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of love from his wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?
He threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a crumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the perogies was already in his mouth.
With a trembling hand he reached for a perogie at the edge of the table, when suddenly he was smacked with a wooden spoon by his wife.
"Hands-off!" she said. "They're for the funeral."
An Estonian is driving to his summer house and sees something on the road. He stops his car and sees that it is a dead crow. He thinks a bit, and then tosses it in the trunk of his car. “Maybe it will be of some use” he thinks.
Come fall, the same Estonian is driving back from his summer house. He stops at the same place on the road, opens his trunk, and throws the dead crow on to the road, mumbling to himself: “Didn’t need it after all.”
A poor Estonian farmer had a single cow to sustain his family. During a severe thunderstorm lightning stuck and killed the cow.
The poor man was absolutely distraught. He was on his knees, wailing and moaning in the rain and calling for God's justice.
God felt so sorry for the man that he appeared to him, apologized for the "friendly fire" and asked what He could do to make amends.
The farmer thought about the offer and replied:
"Kill my neighbor’s cow as well!"
A Russian was riding through the countryside on a bus in Estonia. Not being sure of his location or whether he was headed in the right direction, he asked the bus driver in broken Estonian, "Is Tallinn far?" The Estonian driver phlegmatically replied, "No." Reassured, the Russian returned to his seat and watched the countryside go by. Hours passed. Thinking that Estonia wasn't all that big and that surely they must be getting close to the capital, the Russian once again asked the driver in halting Estonian, "Is Tallinn far?" The driver replied, "It is now."
This Russian-Estonian guy from Tallinn dies and goes to heaven.
He knocks at the gate and Martin Luther opens it.
"You sure you've come to the right place?" Luther asks.
"Sure I am," he says.
"But you're RUSSIAN-Estonian, aren't you?" asks Luther.
"Absolutely," the Russian-Estonian guy says.
"But this is Lutheran heaven," Martin Luther says. "For Estonian-Estonians.
Russian Orthodox heaven is next door."
"You don't understand," says the Russian-Estonian. "The Lord God called me!"
"Oh, I'm terribly sorry," says Luther, turning to call behind him: "Jesus - your taxi's here!"
During the Soviet time, an Estonian goes to the polling place, prepared to vote. He is handed an envelope and told to put it in the ballot box. But instead of following instructions, the Estonian starts to open the envelope.
“What are you doing!” yells the Red Guard monitoring the elections.
“I just wanted to see who I was voting for,” replies the Estonian.
“You imbecile! Don’t you know this is a secret ballot?” says the Red Guard.
Tegelikult on kõik lihtne aga me pole sellest veel aru saanud ...
Sa pead tegema HEAD halvast, sest millestki muust teda teha pole.