Sa tead, et oled eestlane, kui...
1. You use the word ‘normal’ if something is ok.
2. When visiting friends abroad you bring along a box of Kalev chocolate.
3. You attended a song festival at least once either as a performer or as a spectator.
4. You know that going to the sauna is 80% about networking and 20% about washing
5. You are nationalistic about Skype (it is actually an Estonian company)
6. ‘Kohuke’ belongs to your menu
7. You declare your taxes on the internet like all modern people
8. You actually believed for a while that Latvians had 6 toes per foot when you heard that as a child
9. You are convinced that Estonia is very strategically located
10. You spent at least one midsummer in Saaremaa, Hiiumaa or one of the smaller islands
11. You can quote films like "Viimne reliikvia" and "Siin me oleme"
12. You spit three times around your left shoulder for good luck
13. Words like "veoauto", "täieõiguslik" or "jää-äär" sound perfectly pronouncable to you
14. You like bold statements, such as this one... ;-)
15. There can never be too much sarcasm
16. You can at times drink hot tea to hot food
17. You are disappointed that Jaan Kross never got the Nobel prize in literature
18. It would not be suprising for English-speakers to find your name naughty (Peep, Tiit, Andres [sounds like undress]) or hippy (Rein, Rain)
19. You have been to Finland
20. You say 'Noh' (sounds like NO) even when you speak English, just to confuse people
21. You know the lyrics to "Mutionu" and "Rongisõit"
22. You would never mistaken Kreisiraadio for a radio station
23. You would agree that wife-carrying is a real sport (at least as long as Estonians are winning)
24. Your best friend's girlfriend is your English teacher's daughter and they live next door to your grandparents, who were colleagues with your advisor, who is friends with your...
25. You think that any beverage below 20% is non-alcoholic
26. You check the thermometer before going out
27. You look in both directions before crossing the road, even if it's a one-way street
28. You grin very mysteriously when people ask about your national food
29. Even if you find the music by Veljo Tormis and Arvo Pärt not exactly easy-listening, you think they are great messengers for the country
30. You put ketchup inside your pasta (french-cooked gourmet faire la fine manger pasta) in order to not to get the ketchup-bowl dirty
31. You cheated on your wife/husband at least ten times but you still think you're in a good marriage.
32. When someone asks you "where is Estonia?" you quickly reply that it's located in Northern Europe close to Finland...
33. Your grandmother's "purse" is an old plastic bag that has been reused several times
34. Sour cream tastes good with everything
35. A foreigner speaks to you in broken horrible Estonian and you go on and on about how wonderful their Estonian is compared to "the Russians'"
36. You have ever worn or seen anyone wear "karupüksid"
37. You have heard the phrase "Estonians are slow" at least once
38. Kui sa saad aru, mis siia kirjutatud on
39. You find yourself continually ignoring the gender in other languages
40. You say 'kurat' as at least every second word
41. You consider running to the shop at 19.50 on Friday evening to buy some booze, a sport
42. You are a true Estonian when you come from Tallinn, because if you are from Tallinn you think Tallinn IS Estonia and that’s true of course that Tallinn is Estonia
43. When someone says "Estonians are so beautiful" you answer almost without emotions "I know"
44. You have tried to explain people that "kauboi" is actually a word in Estonian
45. You don't think that terviSEKS is a funny word
46. You don't find the Estonian equivalent to the expressions "twelve months", "1002" and "12 buses" remotely funny or rude
47. Even though you never met Toots, Teele and Kiir you know exact what they are like
48. You grin when someone you know says that they bought a BMW
49. You know how to end the sentence "Kui Arno isaga koolimajja jõudis..."
50. Verivorst tastes great (at least once a year at Christmas time)
51. You want truth and justice (tõde ja õigus) to rule the world
52. You think that the combination blue-black-white is cheerful
53. You know that love for 3 oranges is not a weird sex thing and the phrase "x 6 me" makes absolutely sense
54. For you it is totally normal to eat food gone sour (hapupiim, hapukurk, hapukapsas, hapukoor)
55. A language should have at least 14 cases
56. You know the moves to the song "Põdra maja"
57. You consider “Õllepruulija” an unofficial national anthem
58. Everyone in your family has pictures from funerals
59. You are so proud of every Estonian that you correct foreigners who say that the population is 1 million, not 1.3 million as it actually is
60. You know the moves to 'kaerajaan'
61. "Ühesõnaga" means that a really long explanation is coming
62. A mention of a town with a population of a million or more causes you to panic slightly
63. The phrase "go south, get some sun" can feasibly mean Latvia or Lithuania. The phrase "go north" is semantically null
64. It's been years since you've seen your paper passport and paper bus pass
65. And weeks since you've seen cash money.
66. And you barely remember that there are other forms of payment except electronic ones.
67. When you come to a city that has a subway, you are prepared to spend a day just riding it.
68. You presume that all other countries also have ubiquitous Internet access.
69. Four-digit bus route numbers cause your brain to shut down.
70. You feel that the University of Tartu is among the top 5 best/largest/oldest universities in the world, and if you've graduated from it, all paths in life are open for you.
71. Swimming in +18C water is a perfectly normal summer activity for you.
72. Although when summer does come around, you tend to be working that day.
73. You will die before finding out if anyone actually does buy all those black&white hand-knit sweaters in the Old Town.
74. You can name from memory all the really big musical acts that have performed in Estonia.
75. Walking down Viru street, you can accurately name all the cruise ships in Tallinn harbour on that day.
76. You know the names of all three black people living in Estonia.
77. You remember the 1-kroon bill and the 5-sent coin.
78. A person that speaks three languages isn't the slightest bit impressive.
79. Your biological clock senses with perfect accuracy the 15 minutes since you've parked your car in the center of town.
80. You have already been to Olde Hansa.
81. You know what the EURIBOR rate is right now.
82. If it takes more than 10 minutes to drive somewhere within the city, you are mildly annoyed because it is too far.
83. You are beginning to have a glimmer of hope for ever learning how to correctly pronounce Jüriöö Ülestõus.
84. Your doctor prescribes a visit to a tanning salon.
85. You take it as inevitable that you will need to go abroad for some things: clothes, footwear, books, theme parks...
86. First-graders with mobile phones no longer surprise you.
87. People who type slowly and carefully using only their index fingers are subconsciously considered to be foreigners.
88. The most difficult subjects you learned at school were Estonian history, Estonian geography and Estonian literature. And Russian.
89. You can speak with pride of Estonia's tallest mountain.
90. Buildings taller than 20 floors are sightseeing items where you bring visitors.
91. You are beginning to find Eino Baskin's jokes funny.
92. On June 23rd, you feel the irresistible urge to drink beer and eat barbeque meat.
93. When you hear "Kristina", you think of Shmigun, not Aguilera.
94. Every year you believe, deep in your heart, that Estonia will once again win the Eurovision Song Contest.
95. Potato to you is the same as rice to a Japanese.
96. You consider summer to consist of three weeks of bad skiing weather.
97. You can't imagine your life without "Kalev" and "Vana Tallinn",
especially while having a deep look at the Tall Hermann and Oleviste sitting in the cafe inside the Old Town...
98. You're proud that Ernst Hemingway wrote that you can find at least one Estonian in every harbour in the world.
99. Ten months of the year it is too dark to be up and two months it is too light to go to bed.
100. You believe that Kalev will return because Kreutzwald wrote so.
101. You find nothing special about singing a super-state to collapse.
102. You look down on people who ask if Estonia along with the rest of Eastern Europe is civilized by now / if Estonia belongs to the EU.
103. You know what or where "Valli baar" is but you would not try "Millimallikas" they serve twice, unless someone else pays for it.
104. You wait for a green light at a pedestrian crossing even when there is no traffic to be seen.
105. You are obsessed with your mobile phone's ringtones and you can't wait to get a new mobile.
106. You have an account on rate.ee or used to have one until you realised there is also myspace, facebook and orkut which are way better.
107. a Southern European friend of yours is excited that it's miraculously snowing in their country and they tell you about it with enthusiasm but it doesn't move you at all.. at least not emotionally.
108. You know what "spikerdama" means and have good memories of it.
109. You don't understand the physics or chemistry your textbooks and teachers try to teach you because it's too complicated.
110. You are too lazy to walk.. so instead you take the tram, the bus or the trolley-bus and if you do that without a ticket you know why people call you a bunny.
111. You know what a "läbu" is.
112. You know that the word "aita" and "Tarapiita" possibly comes from the word "Taara, avita" and you know who Taara is.
113. You are crazy about tanning at Pärnu Beach.
114. You eat too many dairy products.
115. You have lived in flats more than houses.
116. You are proud that an Estonian day still continues even with metres of fat snow covering the streets because other countries like the US would call it a "snowday" which basically means they have no work or school.
117. You also know that if there is going to be another Ice Age the Estonian people will more likely survive better than the South or Western Europeans
118. And you like the global warming but you can't imagine a Christmas without snow.
119. You'd love to get your 12th grade exam results texted to you.
120. You have joined the "pohhuist" club or know people who are members of it.
121. You have porridge for breakfast.
122. You have had borsch or selyanka soup in your school.
123. You eat everything with sidrunipipar.
124. You notice summer has come because "Reporter" changes name to "Suvereporter"
125. You consider saying "Thank you" for someone's light for a cigarette rude.
126. You consider constantly smiling and friendly people high on drugs or just annoying.
127. You have a puzzled relationship to your Baltic neighours: you might feel great blood kinship but then again you want to look better than they and take offense if someone thinks you're from Latvia or Lithuania.
128. You don't even expect a victory from the Estonian football team, but you still follow the game with great emotions.
129. You aren't surprised over news like "someone (age 18-25) rolled over with a BMW", "someone (age 18-25) was speeding (speed +30-... over the limit) with a BMW" anymore.
130. You can relate to the lyrics of "Depressiivsed Eesti väikelinnad".
131. You eat pea soup and a bun with whipped cream on Vastlapäev every year.
132. You prefer Pirita and Pärnu beach to Miami and Hollywood club (Tallinn) to Pacha (Ibiza).
133. You feel butterflies in your belly when you hear Tõnis Mägi's song "Koit".
134. You know that between two legs there is Rataskaevu street.
135. If Finnish guy goes to "tyräleikkaus" you think that they are going to cut his ... off.
136. You consider Chalice's "Minu inimesed" almost the new national anthem... if you don't, you've been outside Estonia for too long...
137. You watch "Nukitsamees" with English subtitles and foreigners STILL don't get why Estonians love that movie so much.
138. You suddenly feel hungry when you hear the following words: hapukapsas, musta leib, Kalevi valge mustikashokolaad, mulgipuder, kohupiimatort, jäätisekokteil, juustugrillvorst etc. See the discussion on Estonian food for more yummy stuff...
139. You have at least once had to explain people when being abroad that No, Estonia is not as cold as Siberia and No, ice hockey is not the most popular sport in Estonia, cause we actually do not have ice all year around.
140. You wear small reflecting accessoires on your clothes during winter.
141. You say to a foreigner "Sure! I'll help you learn the Estonian language!", and then you disappear...
Abi
.
Nielander
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